If a parent is abusive towards their child or partner, it may be necessary to remove them from the home. Foster care and kinship placements provide safe environments for children who cannot remain with their parents.
Conduct a thorough initial safety assessment before ruling on custody and visitation. This enables you to address safety concerns before they escalate.
Don’t Put Your Children in a Difficult Position
Regarding child custody Oklahoma City, OK, courts decide based on the children’s best interests. This means that even the most minor details of your lifestyle can impact the outcome. For example, if you work full-time and often stay late to meet deadlines, judges may think twice about awarding you sole custody because it could leave your children alone at night.
Family violence is a significant factor in many child custody cases. Parents who perpetrate or flee abuse frequently relocate to escape their abusive partners, taking their children with them. Understanding the dynamics of domestic violence and how to recognize the tactics of coercive control can help you put in place child-centered arrangements that maximize safety. Familiarity with these issues can also clarify and simplify the decisions you need to make.
Don’t Ask Your Children to Choose Who They Want to Live With
It is essential not to take your child’s preference for living with one parent personally. Likewise, avoid badmouthing the other parent to your child or in front of them.
Ultimately, a judge’s decision or custody agreement will determine what is best for the child. A history of domestic violence can make it challenging to achieve an appropriate custody arrangement, even if you are convinced that the abusive parent’s behavior should not affect the court’s order.
Children 14 and over can weigh in on custody rulings, while children nine and under usually don’t. But your child’s preferences should never be the only factor a judge considers.
Don’t Talk Badly About Your Ex in Front of Your Children
When parents lousy mouth each other in front of children, it hurts the custody outcome. Badmouthing can be done in many ways, from blatant insults to unintentional comparisons that hurt the child’s self-esteem.
During divorce, it’s easy to let your anger get the better of you and say things that could backfire. But this is even more true during a custody case when your co-parent may use the information against you.
You might hear your co-parent saying things like, “Your daughter is so messy, just like her mother,” or they save your phone contact under an insulting name. While it may not seem like a big deal, this damages the kids and can negatively impact your relationship with them going forward.
Don’t Pressure Your Children
When an abusive parent requests sole custody of a child or substantial time, this is a clear sign that the abused child and parent are at risk. Recognizing abuse early in a case can save significant time for the court and result in a safer outcome.
In addition to witness testimony, demonstrating that you are a fit and loving custodial parent can sway the judge’s verdict. Maintain a custody journal and track expenses to prove you can provide a safe and healthy environment for the child.
The most important thing you can do for your children during a custody case is to give them as much positive attention as possible. Avoid unnecessary fights, anger, and tension. Do not make sarcastic remarks about your ex in front of your kids.
Don’t Be Bitter
Regarding child custody, you should never let your anger or upset with your ex cloud your judgment. Remember that this is about your children; they deserve love and care in a safe environment. Lashing out at your ex and their family members can cause you to lose the reasonable opinion of a judge. If you get angry often, seek help from a therapist to learn how to control your temper and prevent outbursts.
Anger is always a defense mechanism and shields us from feeling vulnerable. If you can learn to recognize what your anger is covering up, you can also find out why you are upset. Anger can be a mask for fear, disappointment, low self-esteem, or loneliness.